This lovely filk was composed by members of two newsgroups over the course of just a few days. Early in October 1998 Maureen O'Brien tidied up and posted the full song, reproduced below. (Scroll right for attributions.)
I got a burst of energy today and finished off the second verse. If anyone has better/funnier lines, I'd like to see them. Otherwise, I guess these two ng's have written themselves a song! Thanks for the challenge, Kristin; it's been fun.
Maureen S. O'Brien
THE EBE SINGS: I am the very model of a modern alien entity. (Abby Albrecht) I've travelled 'round the universe from here to far infinity. (Don Durham) I helped to build the pyramids, and sank Atlantis in the seas -- (Robert Bunn) And on the weekend I designed the Nazca lines and landing fees. (Maureen O'Brien) I'm very good at cloning and at stealing eggs from abductees -- (Laura Shapiro) The humans and the bovines and strange beasts from the Antipodes -- (Nonie Rider) And tests unhindered by the AMA or old Hippocrates, (Maureen O'Brien) And spreading oil around with help from little altered honeybees. (Alyssa) ALL SING: And spreading oil around with help from little altered honeybees, And spreading oil around with help from little altered honeybees, And spreading oil around with help from little altered honeybees. EBE: I poke with probes and watch the globe with black & shiny beady eyes, (Steven Maguire) And yet some people think I'm peaceful, good, and infinitely wise. (MOB) In short, around the universe from here to far infinity (modified from DD) I am the very model of a modern alien entity. ALL: In short, around the universe from here to far infinity I am the very model of a modern alien entity. EBE: I am the very model of a modern alien entity. (AA) I won't play five-note songs with you, pursuing global harmony. (MOB) I've watched the birth of neutron stars and seen whole galaxies collide, I've studied far-off nebulas and viewed black holes from the inside. (Michael "Snicker Furfoot,Esq." Lynch) My eyes are not like those of bugs, in spite of what B-movies say; I've never felt the slightest urge to colonise the USA; I never wear a space-suit with antennae or a clipped-on light, And I'm prepared to bet there's no such element as Kryptonite. (Tom Holt) ALL: And I'm prepared to bet there's no such element as Kryptonite, And I'm prepared to bet there's no such element as Kryptonite, And I'm prepared to bet there's no such element as Kryptonite. EBE: I find the common cold passe. I'll never leave you evidence. And my resemblance to the Fey is surely pure coincidence. (MOB) In short, around the universe from here to far infinity, I am the very model of a modern alien entity. ALL: In short, around the universe from here to far infinity, I am the very model of a modern alien entity.