Coping: A Survival Guide for People with Asperger Syndrome
Getting the best from this book
- Not everyone will understand everything in this book straight
away but if something doesn't make sense at first then in might
make more sense if you skip it and come back to it later.
- This is a book designed to make you aware of the many
unwritten rules which most people instinctively know and take for
- When people disobey these unwritten rules, sometimes they get
away with it but usually they who break informal rules are made to
suffer informal punishments. These punishments may include being
laughed at, being treated as a less important person or being
- The most difficult thing about being autistic (or having
Asperger Syndrome) is that so many people expect you to know these
rules and live by them as they do, even though no-one has told you
what these rules are. There is no doubt that this is extremely
unfair, but unfortunately most people don't see it this way
because they don't understand the problem.
- If you yourself are having trouble accepting that you are
autistic (or have Asperger Syndrome) you could be making things
even more difficult for yourself. Accepting such a thing will not
only help you to get the most out of this book but may also allow
you to forgive yourself for things you might be doing wrong and
take away some of the pain which can only be holding you back.
- Usually there is an unwritten rule against talking about
unwritten rules in public but it is normally all right to talk
about them with parents, teachers, counsellors or friends when
they are on their own.
- With many of these rules you are likely to want them explained
to you. Unfortunately not all of them can be explained without
moving away from what is important to the aims of this book. Also,
may people are able to follow the rules in this book perfectly but
are not even consciously aware of them.
- If you are so busy questioning these rules that you cannot put
them into practice you might not be getting the best from this
book. However, there is no harm in spending some of your time
- Some unwritten rules I have been unable to include either
because they are too vague and depend too much on the situation or
because I may not yet have discovered them myself.
- When you have read this book you might think that these are
the rules to a rather silly game but the game is life and the
rules cannot be changed.
- The problem with the game of life is that every situation is
slightly different. Some things might be suitable in some
situations but not in others. This book cannot tell you how to
respond in every situation but can only set you guide-lines.
- Autistic people tend to remember detail, non autistic people
tend to remember plot. Plot closely accompanies the detective work
which enables most people to learn unwritten rules of society
which are covered in this book.
- You may know some or many of the rules shown in this book
already. None the less they must still be included for people who
might not yet know them.
- Sometimes certain people might give you advice and criticisms
which you find slightly patronising, pedantic or unimportant. This
might often cause you to want to rebel but you
could in fact be rebelling against the very things which are to be
most helpful to you.
- Remember this book has been written partly on the basis of my
own personal experiences and that what is right for me doesn't
always have to be what's right for someone else
Coping: A Survival Guide for People with Asperger
Getting the best from this book
Looking on the bright side
Distortions of the truth
Humour and conflict
Sexually related problems and points about
Finding the right friends
Keeping a clean slate
Living away from home
Jobs and interviews
A Personal in depth analysis of the